My name is Phineas Listerman MacGuire.
Most people call me Mac.
My Sunday-school teacher and my pediatrician call me Phineas.
A few people, mostly my great-uncle Phil and his cockatiel, Sparky, call me Phin.
Nobody calls me Listerman.
I mean not one single person.
Everybody got that?
I am currently in the fourth grade at Woodbrook Elementary School. On the first day of school my teacher, Mrs. Tuttle, asked us to write down our number one, two, and three goals for the year. Here is what I wrote:
To be the best fourth-grade scientist...